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30 November 2016

Poem: The Inseparable Core

It's the last day of November and we finished daily poetry writing for the entire month. Initially, I wasn't sure about writing every day because of health issues. I am happy that health stayed well and I could write new poems.  After four months of nerve palsy, December will be the first month, I won't have an appointment with the Neurosurgeon. 

The recovery journey for the past months made me more lonely, more anxious about the loss of work and eyes. I would wake up very depressed and defeated especially when the diplopia occurred once again after initial partial recovery. During the second episode of the disease, I couldn't see much progress. Then, I decided to devote more time to Sadhana, (spiritual practice). I hadn't stopped working. Living and working with double vision was heartbreaking. 

Seeing two images of everything and then focusing on the one to perform any task was the hardest thing to do. When one eye stops moving or both eyes don't move in synchronization, each eye shows its own image. I had to see two different images of everything, for every moment the eyes were open. I lived this challenge twice. Two images weren't equal. The image created by the affected eye would appear tilted. Moving eyes in any direction would increase the misalignment without any fixed rule of the vision created. It's almost impossible to articulate how I faced each and every day with diplopia. Diplopia has gone completely now, with medication and eye exercises  and I hope current progress will be stable without medicines as well. Paralysis and its recovery are absolutely unpredictable. Today, I have normal vision restored and I feel, it's the God's grace and answer to the prayers and wishes my friends.

For the last day of November, dedicating a poem to Mahayoga Sadhana with whom I spent the time of dismay of diplopia. The only time I could give some rest to my brains from two images was when eyes were closed. 


Image: Inseparable Core


You awakened me from the
dark sleep of ignorance
You revived my lost 'self' 

for the most vital perseverance
Whenever clouds of sadness
hindered my hope
You lightened up the dedication
to build the path to cope
Whenever I got overwhelmed 
by the circumstances and lost the direction
You showed me the very 

next essential step in the right direction
You cleared the noise of my
thought-generated uncertainties
You purified my mind to
discover the spiritually-assured certainties
You blessed me the courage to
walk again with the unfailing confidence
And blessed me the resilience 

to work again with the consistent brilliance
Whenever I got drowned in 
the darkness of depressed mind
Your blessings appeared with 

the light of rising sun and fortune shined
I bow to you again and again
for being the inseparable core of me
which constitutes my survival 
after life-shaking challenges and the true me.

Thank you for always being so supportive. Your support is itself a motivation to work on a new idea every day. I wish this beautiful month would never end. But change is the beauty of life. We will keep meeting with new poems, new posts and a new zeal further also.

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